Are you old enough to remember Abbott and Costello? For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT : Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Window's.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on 'START'
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Potter Puppet Pals
This cracked me up!
Potter Puppet Pals
(Although, I'd like to know what happened to Dumbledore's costume halfway through.)
Potter Puppet Pals
(Although, I'd like to know what happened to Dumbledore's costume halfway through.)
Happy Easter!
Happy Easter to all my bunny lovers out there!
(This means you Lynda and Jac!)
A Guide to the Facial Expressions of Rabbits
(This means you Lynda and Jac!)
A Guide to the Facial Expressions of Rabbits
Friday, March 21, 2008
Organization Website
I LOVE this website! We're going to be making Daniel's room more of a "big boy" room soon, and I was looking for some way to organize his toys. I found the stuffed animal net at www.organize.com. We want to do an aquarium theme, so I think it will fit in perfectly! I also found a few other great things, like the tub organizer. (Click on the pictures to go right to that webpage.)
Friday, March 14, 2008
2008 Darwin Awards
The Annual Darwinian Awards
Someday, this ceremony may be as eagerly-awaited as the Academy Awards. Worthy winners -- who are always legion -- will receive the coveted Golden Gibbon ("Gibby"). Should this be the year the Awards have their debut, a list of certain finalists follows.
First, the runners-up (in random order):
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent one of its men to inspect the cutter. When he tried the machine, he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. After stopping for drinks at a bar, a Zimbabwean driver returned to his bus to find that the 20 mental patients he was transporting had escaped. Not wanting to expose his dereliction of duty, the driver drove to a bus stop and offered a free ride to the first 20 people who boarded the bus. He then delivered them to a Bulawayo mental hospital, warning the staff that the patients were excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for three days.
4. A teenager in London was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received while riding on a train. When asked how he the injuries occurred, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a passing train before he was hit. He is now an expert on the subject.
5. A man walked into a Louisiana convenience store, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and demanded all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash the thief got from the drawer was $15.
6. An Arkansas man wanted a drink badly. So he decided to break a liquor store window, grab some bottles and take off. He turned his back to the window to protect his face from flying glass and heaved a cinder block over his shoulder. It hit the Plexiglas window, bounced back and struck the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The event was caught on videotape.
7. As a woman left a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911, and the woman gave the police a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, they apprehended him. He was driven back to the store and told to stand up for a positive ID. To which the cooperative thief replied, "Yes, officer, that's the lady I stole the purse from."
8. An Ann Arbor, Michigan crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk explained that he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the annoyed would-be thief grudgingly ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
9. A Philadelphia restaurateur attracted long lines of customers, waiting outside of his luncheonette to order his huge, delicious, very inexpensive sandwiches. When asked how he could afford this, the owner replied, "I lose money on every sandwich I sell, but I make it up in volume." Not long thereafter, the restaurant became a dry cleaner.
And now, the 2008 winner of the Golden Gibbon! (Awarded posthumously)
When his revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked
Someday, this ceremony may be as eagerly-awaited as the Academy Awards. Worthy winners -- who are always legion -- will receive the coveted Golden Gibbon ("Gibby"). Should this be the year the Awards have their debut, a list of certain finalists follows.
First, the runners-up (in random order):
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent one of its men to inspect the cutter. When he tried the machine, he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
3. After stopping for drinks at a bar, a Zimbabwean driver returned to his bus to find that the 20 mental patients he was transporting had escaped. Not wanting to expose his dereliction of duty, the driver drove to a bus stop and offered a free ride to the first 20 people who boarded the bus. He then delivered them to a Bulawayo mental hospital, warning the staff that the patients were excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for three days.
4. A teenager in London was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received while riding on a train. When asked how he the injuries occurred, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a passing train before he was hit. He is now an expert on the subject.
5. A man walked into a Louisiana convenience store, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and demanded all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash the thief got from the drawer was $15.
6. An Arkansas man wanted a drink badly. So he decided to break a liquor store window, grab some bottles and take off. He turned his back to the window to protect his face from flying glass and heaved a cinder block over his shoulder. It hit the Plexiglas window, bounced back and struck the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The event was caught on videotape.
7. As a woman left a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911, and the woman gave the police a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, they apprehended him. He was driven back to the store and told to stand up for a positive ID. To which the cooperative thief replied, "Yes, officer, that's the lady I stole the purse from."
8. An Ann Arbor, Michigan crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk explained that he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the annoyed would-be thief grudgingly ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
9. A Philadelphia restaurateur attracted long lines of customers, waiting outside of his luncheonette to order his huge, delicious, very inexpensive sandwiches. When asked how he could afford this, the owner replied, "I lose money on every sandwich I sell, but I make it up in volume." Not long thereafter, the restaurant became a dry cleaner.
And now, the 2008 winner of the Golden Gibbon! (Awarded posthumously)
When his revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Shriner's Hospital Fun Center Contest
My Dad is a Shriner, and sent me this information:
Colgate is having a contest and depending upon the number of votes will provide a Hospital Fun Center to that Hospital with the most votes. Shriners Hospital in Chicago is on the list and we would appreciate your vote. First click on the web site, then Click on IL, note that Shriners is the first Hospital that you can vote for so click that box. At the end of the page you need to type in the letters that you see in the box and then click on submit. Help us win this contest. You can vote once every day until the contest ends on March 31st. The Children and I thank you.
Colgate is taking votes on which hospital to upgrade with a new toyland
and you can vote for the Shriner's Hospital of Illinois. Shriner's in Missouri is also in the running, but they are in the lead.
Please Help Shriner's in Illinois, Thank You!
Starlight Starbright Children's Foundation
Easter Facts
I received this in an email today. (Thanks Dad!)
Easter
Do you realize how early Easter is this year? As you
may know, Easter is always the 1st Sunday after the
1st full moon after the Spring Equinox (which is March
20). This dating of Easter is based on the lunar
calendar that Hebrew people used to identify Passover,
which is why it moves around on our Roman calendar.
Found out a couple of things you might be interested
in! Based on the above, Easter can actually be one day
earlier (March 22) but that is pretty rare.
Here's the interesting info. This year is the earliest
Easter any of us will ever see the rest of our lives!
And only the most elderly of our population have ever
seen it this early (95 years old or above!). And none
of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier!
Here's the facts:
1) The next time Easter will be this early
(March 23) will be the year 2228 (220 years from now).
The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you're
95 or older, you are the only ones that were around
for that!).
2) The next time it will be a day earlier,
March 22, will be in the year 2285 (277 years from
now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. So,
no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier
than this year!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
