Abbott and Costello in the Computer Age

Are you old enough to remember Abbott and Costello? For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:


COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Window's.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'

Potter Puppet Pals

This cracked me up!

Potter Puppet Pals

(Although, I'd like to know what happened to Dumbledore's costume halfway through.)

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to all my bunny lovers out there!
(This means you Lynda and Jac!)

A Guide to the Facial Expressions of Rabbits

Organization Website

I LOVE this website! We're going to be making Daniel's room more of a "big boy" room soon, and I was looking for some way to organize his toys. I found the stuffed animal net at www.organize.com. We want to do an aquarium theme, so I think it will fit in perfectly! I also found a few other great things, like the tub organizer. (Click on the pictures to go right to that webpage.)

2008 Darwin Awards

The Annual Darwinian Awards

Someday, this ceremony may be as eagerly-awaited as the Academy Awards. Worthy winners -- who are always legion -- will receive the coveted Golden Gibbon ("Gibby"). Should this be the year the Awards have their debut, a list of certain finalists follows.


First, the runners-up (in random order):

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent one of its men to inspect the cutter. When he tried the machine, he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. After stopping for drinks at a bar, a Zimbabwean driver returned to his bus to find that the 20 mental patients he was transporting had escaped. Not wanting to expose his dereliction of duty, the driver drove to a bus stop and offered a free ride to the first 20 people who boarded the bus. He then delivered them to a Bulawayo mental hospital, warning the staff that the patients were excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for three days.

4. A teenager in London was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received while riding on a train. When asked how he the injuries occurred, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a passing train before he was hit. He is now an expert on the subject.

5. A man walked into a Louisiana convenience store, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and demanded all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash the thief got from the drawer was $15.

6. An Arkansas man wanted a drink badly. So he decided to break a liquor store window, grab some bottles and take off. He turned his back to the window to protect his face from flying glass and heaved a cinder block over his shoulder. It hit the Plexiglas window, bounced back and struck the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The event was caught on videotape.

7. As a woman left a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911, and the woman gave the police a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, they apprehended him. He was driven back to the store and told to stand up for a positive ID. To which the cooperative thief replied, "Yes, officer, that's the lady I stole the purse from."

8. An Ann Arbor, Michigan crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk explained that he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the annoyed would-be thief grudgingly ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

9. A Philadelphia restaurateur attracted long lines of customers, waiting outside of his luncheonette to order his huge, delicious, very inexpensive sandwiches. When asked how he could afford this, the owner replied, "I lose money on every sandwich I sell, but I make it up in volume." Not long thereafter, the restaurant became a dry cleaner.

And now, the 2008 winner of the Golden Gibbon! (Awarded posthumously)


When his revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked

Shriner's Hospital Fun Center Contest

My Dad is a Shriner, and sent me this information:

Colgate is having a contest and depending upon the number of votes will provide a Hospital Fun Center to that Hospital with the most votes. Shriners Hospital in Chicago is on the list and we would appreciate your vote. First click on the web site, then Click on IL, note that Shriners is the first Hospital that you can vote for so click that box. At the end of the page you need to type in the letters that you see in the box and then click on submit. Help us win this contest. You can vote once every day until the contest ends on March 31st. The Children and I thank you.

Colgate is taking votes on which hospital to upgrade with a new toyland
and you can vote for the Shriner's Hospital of Illinois. Shriner's in Missouri is also in the running, but they are in the lead.
Please Help Shriner's in Illinois, Thank You!
Starlight Starbright Children's Foundation

Easter Facts

I received this in an email today. (Thanks Dad!)

Easter
Do you realize how early Easter is this year? As you
may know, Easter is always the 1st Sunday after the
1st full moon after the Spring Equinox (which is March
20). This dating of Easter is based on the lunar
calendar that Hebrew people used to identify Passover,
which is why it moves around on our Roman calendar.

Found out a couple of things you might be interested
in! Based on the above, Easter can actually be one day
earlier (March 22) but that is pretty rare.

Here's the interesting info. This year is the earliest
Easter any of us will ever see the rest of our lives!
And only the most elderly of our population have ever
seen it this early (95 years old or above!). And none
of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier!
Here's the facts:

1) The next time Easter will be this early
(March 23) will be the year 2228 (220 years from now).
The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you're
95 or older, you are the only ones that were around
for that!).

2) The next time it will be a day earlier,
March 22, will be in the year 2285 (277 years from
now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. So,
no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier
than this year!

Poopsie AppleToes

Follow the instructions to find your new name. The following in an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey: The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:

a = poopsie
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = gidget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = cheeseball
i = chim-chim
j = stinky
k = flunky
l = boobie
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = doofus
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = tulefel
u = dorkey
v = squeezit
w = oprah
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = apple
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = burger
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = bubble
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

I'm Poopsie AppleToes, Doug is Dorkey AppleToes, Daniel is Zippy AppleToes and Nick is Buttercup AppleToes.

Eclipse

Can you see the "man in the moon" on the last one?

Breast Milk Contains Stem Cells

The Australia & New Zealand Science Alert website published an interesting article about breastmilk here: Breast Milk Contains Stem Cells.

33 Weird Statues

From the site toroller.com, "33 Weird Statues and Sculptures Around the World."

Ice Storm

February 1, 2008

The Germ

Fran M: Somehow the mutant GERM had gotten out of the lab. Jessica didn't think it was an accident.

Heather M: It was a nasty germ. First a cough, then a fever, and the next thing the patient would know, they were in a COMA.

Fran M: It was not an ordinary fever either, the AGUE would last several days and regular medications didn't seem to help.

Me: It was not anything she'd ever seen in any of her BIO-chem texts. She had a feeling it was going to BE one for the record books.

Fran M: She was willing to BET the inevitable outbreak would TAX public health resources to the limit.

Me: she wondered if DI, the girl who had answered the help wanted AD for a lab assistant, had anything to do with it. The girl was obviously very smart, as she had helped discover the XI baryon particle.

Fran M: A soft WHINE came from the hospital bed. Jessica was looking in on the latest victim of the mutated germ, a 12-year old girl.

Me: She was feverish and shaky, but still conscious. Unfortunately, she was as helpless as a kitten. To ADD to her humiliation, she had PEED the bed.

Fran M: Even if the lab assistant hadn't actually taken it, she was guilty of aiding and ABETting. Jessica was sure of it.

Fran M: There were SO many home remedies for fever, she had to try all of them, chewing QATS or wrapping the head in TI leaves were two of the things they tried.

Me: The girl wasn't much of a WHINER. Even when she was told she had to GO FOR blood tests at odd hours, she patiently complied.

Fran M: It was frightening to SEE the SPEED at which the disease ravaged the body.

Me: Jessica decided to try and SEEK answers from a local psychic she knew. As she gazed into her crystal ball, she said it seemed cloudy and INKY, there was no help from it.

Fran M: On the way home from the psychic, Jessica CUED up her favorite cd. It brought her spirits up, at least a DINKY bit.

Me: She also stopped at the florist, and picked up a TI plant in a JET black vase. She hoped the plant would have better chances than the girl in the hospital.

Fran M: She would put it next to the fountain that was made to look like an EA that she had in her living room and she hoped the hi FE content of her water wouldn't kill the plant. She thought it would look nice next to the photo of the GOA she had blown up and framed from her trip to Tibet also.

Me: She went into the kitchen to make some PEA soup, and almost tripped over her PUG laying in the middle of the floor.

Fran M: Jessica Tandy, NEE Smith had just gone through a divorce. She got the pug in the split. HE was a little messy, which WE assume all pugs are.

Me: After dinner, she went for a walk beside the VOE. It always helped her sort out her thoughts, NO matter how many WEE bugs liked to bite her while she walked.

Fran M: the path she took on her walk made a zig-ZAG through the park.

Me: As she left the park, she noticed a ZA parlor that was missing the AR from its sign. She went inside to let the manager know, and he rudely called her a LIAR.

Fran M: Not one to take insults well, she insisted he come outside. Sure enough the blank spot was there, looking like a HILAR mark on a tree.

Me: "HO HO HO" she laughed, and his face turned to one of WO at being proven wrong.

Fran M: When she saw that the front of the shop had a lot of WEEDS, she realized they might not be doing so well.

Me: So she got a ZANY idea....

Fran M: Add PEAS to the menu and make Wednesday nights WHINERS night with discounts on certain items.

Fran M: Okay, so it wasn't the most brilliant idea, but she was a scientist after all and not a marketing person.

Me: As she walked home, she again tried to decide who in her department would be EVIL enough to unleash the horrible germ on society.

Fran M: Was it Forrest GUMP, the weird guy in the fungus lab?

Me: Maybe it was BO WO, the strange oriental lab tech.

Fran M: You can bet your BA it was someone on the ROTA.

Me: She decided she was just going to FLAT out ask the ABO that worked on the night crew.

Fran M: She put on her best TWEEDS and got ready for work. She decided she would NOT rest until she knew who the culprit was.

Me: As she LET herself into the lab....

Fran M: She realized the germ had been released with the INIA that was in the lab last week. "AR we ever going to learn?" She lamented.

Scrabulous Buyout?

Go HERE to read the latest on the Scrabulous saga...

Go HERE to read a very informative article discussing the copyright issues.

Random pics

Go HERE to see some random pics off my camera. They range from the past 2 months to yesterday. Click "view as slideshow" for easiest viewing, and to see the picture descriptions.

Theme Scrabble: Fantasy/Sci-Fi

Fran and I decided to play a "themed" game of Scrabble. Here is the transcript! It started out somewhat random, then evolved into a bit of a story line. Capital words are the words we played.


Heather M: the theme is fantasy/sci fi, justify each word if it's not apparent

Heather M: the noble night used to be a shepherd, and when his favorite EWE died, he went off to seek his fortune

Fran M: the alien bounty hunter kept a RAZOR in his boot.

Heather M: it looked like a child's TOY, but was really the key to saving the realm...

Fran M: no FEWER than FIVE knights had attempted to get through the thorns that surrounded Aurora's castle.

Heather M: "hey dude, i need some TIX to the intergalactic game tomorrow!"

Fran M: "yo! you from 'ROUND here?" said the alien bounty hunter.

Heather M: YEP, PA, i am from around here, as a matter of fact.

Fran M: the LANDING on the planet surface was very rough.

Heather M: oh no! The laser beam blasted straight through his CECAL cavity! intestinal crud is leaking everywhere!

Heather M: "do re me fa so LA ti do!"

Heather M: "AL, this is no time for singing! hand me the scalpel!"

Fran M: The dragon EGG was purple and about the size of a volkswagen beetle.

Heather M: "hey BUD, you gonna BE much longer on that commode? we have dragons to fight, let's get going!"

Fran M: Al took off like he had a BUR in his pants when he saw the dragon coming.

Fran M: Then he realized he had been paid a FIVER to get a picture of it.

Heather M: al and burt were best BUDS...but if al didn't stop LISPING when they were trying to sneak up on dragons, burt knew he'd get them killed

Fran M: If you're going to fight dragons (or just take their picture) you have to HONE all your skills.

Heather M: "LA LA LA"

Heather M: dude, we're going to have to WEAN you off of those happy pills the martians gave you. maybe we can put you IN saturn's latest rehab program..."

Fran M: Dude, wouldn't it be easier to just DROW the dragon?

Fran M: Man, you need to stay away from those Renaissance fairs, who talks like that?

Heather M: AW, while i was sleeping in the HAY, the evil wizard put a HEX on me

Fran M: The KORAI all bore a striking resemblence to DI. It really freaked her out.

Heather M: the troubadour went to all the local taverns, playing his UKE and listening to the tales of the dragon

Fran M: Al gave Burt a VEE for victory. He finally got a good shot of the dragon.

Heather M: he (the troubadour) had always heard that if you put some SAL IN your water, it would help you SING better. how fortunate that he just happened to have some in the pocket of his GI.

Fran M: the troubador is also a black belt? :-)

Fran M: Unfortunately, when he opened his mouth to sing, it came out as a YODEL!

Heather M: he told his mother he would STRIVE to do his best every time he sang, so this was a big embarrassment to him

Fran M: Oh, woe is ME, what will MA think of me now?

Heather M: SO he decided to call his JO for some extra one on one voice lessons

Fran M: A MOUE replaced his smile when his JO said she was going to charge him 200 SOU for the lessons.

Heather M: since they both were feeling so out of sorts with each other, they both called their MAS to have their QIS rebalanced

Fran M: The troubador's ma said, "Your QI is totally out of whack!" "IF you had listened to me and IF you weren't seeing that, that girl, you'd be fine."

Heather M: she continued: "i felt like my heart was TORN out of my chest when you started seeing her!" (she's a touch melodramatic)

Ed (the troubador) actually thought his girlfriend was a little wild also, but he thought he could TAME her.

Heather M: TA for the game Fran!

Save Scrabulous!

Quoted from BBC News:

The threat to the hugely popular Scrabulous game has galvanised Facebook members into mounting a vigorous defence campaign.

In little more than a day more than 13,000 people have signed up to a Save Scrabulous group on Facebook.

Many have signed a petition asking Mattel and Hasbro to back down from their threat to have the game removed.

Others have bombarded the two toy makers with letters, e-mails and calls asking them to preserve the game.

The joint owners of Scrabble, Mattel and Hasbro, launched their action on Tuesday saying that the Scrabulous game was a "gross copyright and trademark infringement". The companies asked Facebook to remove Scrabulous.

Neither Facebook nor the Indian brothers who created the online word game have so far commented on the row.

On Facebook, Scrabulous regularly racks up more than 500,000 users a day and many of these have leapt to the defence of the game.

A Save Scrabulous group has been created on Facebook and in little more than a day more has more than 13,400 members.

Discussion on the group has been broadly critical of Hasbro and Mattel and many have called on the toy makers to "back off" and leave Scrabulous running. In comments many Save Scrabulous members said they would boycott Hasbro and Mattel products if the game disappeared.

Some said the decision to launch the legal action was "short-sighted" and could only damage their reputation. In one discussion thread more than 100 people said playing Scrabulous had led them to buy a copy of the board game.

"Never played Scrabble until I played 'Scrabulous'," wrote Alexandra York. "This is the best application on Facebook and has brought Scrabble to many people who have never played before whilst allowing friends and family to enjoy the game in spite of living far from each other."

Jeff Wismer from Toronto wrote: "I completely agree however that their trademark has been hijacked and it's within their right to take action. They just have to make sure that action isn't shooting themselves in the foot."

Contact details for executives, customer service and complaint departments at the toy makers have been posted to discussion groups on Save Scrabulous.

Many members of the group posted information about the responses they were getting that the companies are being bombarded by concerned fans of the game.

The group now has over 43,000 members as of Sunday evening.

Daniel's Birth Story

I wrote this when Daniel was 10 months old, and put it on a message board site I frequent. I decided I should move it over here, in case that board ever crashes, so I don't lose the story! Be warned, I wrote up everything about his birth, so don't read unless you're interested in the full details. This is more for my personal record keeping than anything!

Daniel Morgan was born at 9:25 pm July 21st, 2004 one day before his due date. He weighed 6lb 7oz and was 19 and 1/2 inches long. His APGARS were 8 and 9!

Let's see, the previous Wednesday I had my ob appt. and I was 1cm, 50%. (Ob only told me this later when I asked.) The next Monday I started having contractions. They were very far apart, and very irregular. I walked, waited, and was confused for the most part. I knew they weren't anywhere near regular enough to be more than BH, but then again I had not had any BH previously and these were 24 hours a day. They continued Tuesday and Wednesday.

I had an ob appt. that Wednesday at noon. Dr. Miller told me (later) that I was 2-3 cm dilated and 90% effaced. The problem was that for a couple weeks now Daniel wasn't cooperating on the NST's. He would kick all over EXCEPT when we were doing the NST! At one point I had to go into the hospital on a Saturday for one just to be sure all was well. It was. Anyway, they checked my BP which was high for me and had been for a while, did an NST, and then did an u/s. The NST was fine, he was reactive and had good kicks. My BP was fine that day too. The u/s showed him head down, spine to the left, and my amniotic fluid was a 2. She said normal was about 18 and I was dangerously low. She wanted to induce me. Right then.

(Pause for explanation: I was terrified of being induced. We had been taking Bradley classes, wanted to go totally natural for many reasons. Partly for the baby, and partly because I couldn't stand the thought of having a needle put in my back! I've never been in the hospital other than the ER twice, once for an ear infection and once for stitches to the top of my head (a loooong story!) So I wanted my birthing experience to be as non-medical as possible. I was so scared that if I was induced it would lead to all sorts of complications and I would either have to have an epidural or c-section.)

So I called Doug at work from her office, and he met me at the house. We live 20 minutes away from the office and then it takes 20 minutes to get to the hospital. Oh wait, I just remembered something! My mom was at the ob appt with me that day! I was glad, because she drove me home...I wasn't in shape to drive, too preoccupied. She dropped me off at home and went to her house 5 minutes away to tell Mary and get ready to meet us at the hospital. Meanwhile, I packed the car and called Beth, my Bradley coach, for encouragement. I had a sandwich and looked up any info I could find on low amniotic fluid, which wasn't much. Doug finally got home, and we headed to the hospital.

3:30 We arrived at the hospital and checked in. I had my vitals done, bloodwork done, and the hated belly moniter put on. I didn't want a moniter in my birth plan because I wanted to be free to move, but with pitocin I had to have it.

4:42They had to try for my pitocin IV 3 times! Actually, that was probably the worst part of the whole experience. The guy doing it was a friend of Doug's from the armory. I was nervous, and the first time he tried it in my hand I jerked my hand back. Jen (my nurse) tried next and didn't get it. Finally they called in another nurse, and she ended up putting it in my wrist as my veins in my hand were shot. I ended up bleeding all down my hand and on the floor. Good thing I wasn't watching it!

4:50 Dr. Miller (ob) broke what little water I had and headed out. I sat on the birthing ball with Doug in a rocker behind me pressing our rice sock on my back for counter pressure. I leaned my head on the tray that you eat from when in bed. We put it to a good height and braced it against the bed. The nurse came in every now and then to up the pitocin drip. I remember talking with Doug a little in the beginning but that was it. The contractions were painful, especially in my back, for the count of 5 exhales, then they would ease off. I found that if I kept my breathing controlled and relaxed and could make it through the 5 exhales, then the worst was over and it would ease off after that. That was my saving grace the whole time, that count of 5. At one point I was there on the ball, my gown open all the way down the back, when Doug's armory friend, the IV guy, came in to see how things were going. Oops, he got an eyeful. Served him right! Later I got so hot and sweaty on the ball that I stripped my gown half off...good thing he didn't come in then. Of course at another point I got cold and wanted a blanket.

The contrax got stronger, and the nurse suggested a beanbag on the bed. I draped myself over it with Doug up on the bed behind me putting his full body weight on his arms on the rice sock on my back. The nurse later told me I had back labor...no kidding! Poor Doug said his arms were smoked later.

7:59 The pain was getting pretty bad, but I was still able to relax myself through it. I asked the nurse to check on me. I was 6-7 cm and a 0 to -1 station. For a change of pace I tried to lay on my side as my knees were killing me. The position was the wrong one for me! I lost control of the pain and had to go back to the beanbag. What a difference just the position makes! If I'd had to be on my side the whole time, I don't think I'd have made it without drugs. Those first 5 breaths got much harder, and I started to have trouble focusing. I started rocking and tipping my pelvis down unconsciously. I soon started to feel like I was having convulsions, or whole body cramps during the first 5 breaths. I had no idea what was going on, until I started to realize I felt like I had to push. I didn't think I could be ready yet, since just an hour ago I was 6-7 cm! I had Jen my nurse come back in to check on me because I felt like I had to push so bad.

8:57She said I was fully dilated and had just a little lip showing. They had me go in to the bathroom to sit on the toilet and push while they got the bed ready. Doug came in with me. It felt so much better to push instead of fight the feeling! There was a med student, Beth, there, and some other ob in addition to mine (some kind of intern? I had no clue). She was African-American and had such an accent that it was very hard for me to understand her. Dr. Miller came, and sat with me on the bed. She had me push while she checked on me...that hurt! I was letting my breath out on pushes, and Dr. Miller had me focus on her and hold my breath during pushes. I could see him crown in the reflection from her glasses, and couldn't believe he was coming already! At one point the African-American doctor put her finger in me and pulled down while I was pushing, that HURT! I have no idea why she did that, and I was so po'd at her because it hurt so much.

9:25 His head ws starting to come, and I had only pushed for 25 minutes! His head came out, and I could look down and see. I couldn't believe it! Another push and he was out and put on my chest. (I wish they hadn't wrapped him in the cloth, skin to skin would have been better especially as he was a little cold.) Dr. Miller waited for the cord to stop pulsing and Doug cut it.

He was crying great, was nice and pink with a perfect head. Of course he came out so fast he had no chance to turn into a cone head! His APGARS were an 8 and 9. I think he only lost points because he was cold.

I was surprised to find that it didn't hurt to deliver the placenta.

I had no episiotomy, and had 2 small tears: one inside the labia and one at the bottom of the birth canal. She stitched me up which stung some. I had the shakes while she stitched. (Wonder if that made it harder for her? ) I remember my nurse Jen was pressing on my belly to help the uterus contract back down, and I was laughing at how jiggly it was. Another nurse tried to help me latch him on, but we weren't that successful at first. This was the same nurse who came in while I was laboring and said "What's that weird tribal music?" (We had Native American flute music playing). I didn' tpay any attention to her at the time. We stayed in the delivery room for an hour with Daniel, then I was wheeled to maternity while Doug went with Daniel to the nursery. Jen brought me some warm blankets with my wheelchair, and I remember saying to her "I love you! You're my new best friend!" I was so cold, and the blankets felt wonderful.

We passed the nursery on the way to maternity, and mom, Mary, Dad and Pat were all waiting in that hallway to see Daniel. Mom was funny, she saw me and hugged me and said she was so glad to see me and see that I was ok. She told me she was more concerned about me than the baby at that point...there's a mom for you!

Daniel pooped right away in the nursery, but his temp was cold so he had to stay there a while. Doug stayed with him. In retrospect, I wish I had done skin to skin, I think that would have warmed him right up. He warmed up enough for Doug to give him his bath, and then had to warm up a little more before they brought him back to me.

12:15 Doug finally brought Daniel to me. Daniel stayed with me, Doug went home for some much needed sleep. I stayed awake looking at Daniel in the bassinet and wrote his birth story. Not long after he came into the hospital bed with me, and has been in bed with me ever since! We coslept in the hospital. The nurses saw, but didn't say anything.

I had a very sore bottom and tailbone, and took some Tylenol for it. The labor was 4 hours and 43 minutes total, with only 25 minutes of pushing! Not a bad way to do it in my opinion.

Here is Nick's birth story.

Largest Known Star

This is very interesting, especially if you have a passing fancy for space stuff. If you only see the earth at first, wait a bit...

Largest Known Star